Saturday, July 4, 2009

Chapter 1

It was the sound of thunder to which he awoke. It boomed overhead, entirely annihilating the sound of the rain which could usually be heard pounding on the roof above. The sound of the wind which normally tossed around the carriage, in which he lay, could not be heard at all. But as the thunder receded he could yet again hear all these noises.
He couldn’t see anything, the darkness completely blanketed everything. Reaching up his hands pressed against the hard engraved wooden covering of the box. This surprised him and reaching out to the sides and felt the same wooden planks. He began to panic and then attempted to push against the wooden covering over him and after a slight administration of force managed to shove it from him.
The smell of fresh air was miraculous to him; seemingly magnified twenty times from that which he used to know. It smelt beautiful to him, enticing and filled with a thousand different flavors. Pushing the last of the wooden lid from him he leapt from his imprisonment and gazed around at the world.
He was in a small elegant room. It was simple yet astounding with violet curtains tied back to either side of a dozen windows. Its carpet was of the same rich colour as the curtains being perfectly clean, not a trace of dirt. Towards one side of the chamber there was a magnificent door which appeared to be hand crafted from the finest, golden wood. He headed towards it needing to slouch due to the height of the room.
Immediately upon opening the door he was assaulted by the chill of wind and rain. It that instant he was soaked right down to the bone and with the wind chill he was nearly frozen, barely able to move. Mustering up all his might he struggled out the door and into the maelstrom beyond.
The world outside the carriage was even worse. At this point he actually regretted getting out of the coffin in which he was contained. At least in there it was warm. He walked to the front of the carriage to see if he could find anyone to talk to. Instead he found mindless brutality.
The drivers of the carriage were dead. Their heads had been torn from their bodies as if madman had sliced them off with a sword. Their features were barely visible until an enormous burst of lightning illuminated the bodies. Each of them at had their bodies viciously clawed at almost as a lion had disemboweled them. Both of the drivers were holding the reins to some horses yet none were to be seen.
At this moment he felt a pain in side of him. It wasn’t a crippling pain merely a hunger pain yet it was coming from his chest. At this time he could ignore it, but he knew he could not escape from it forever.
Leaving the two corpses alone he wandered up the road and through the pouring rain. Huge puddles of dark, dirty water covered the road with the only land being thick, horrible mud. Braving the impenetrable conditions he struggled to wade through the waist high mud. At some points he had to swim through the puddles to navigate around trees that had fallen during the storm.
Finally after what seemed like days he managed to reach dry land. The rain still pelted down on him but the ground was hard granite not able to be contaminated by the mud. Exhaustion forced him to rest upon this rock; it surface appeared to radiate heat.
He reluctantly arose from his resting place and walked up along a path leading from the road. It was small, barely more than a bush walking track, but it led to the cover of a grove of trees and therefore was good to follow. It wasn’t tiled or even carved, instead appearing to have been eroded into the ground through constant use. It was slick with rain, but still dryer than the road he had initially used.
He staggered forward mustering what little strength he had left. Eventually he arrived at the grove of trees; the rain was slowed by the canopy above him. However so was what little light he had, the forest in front of him was completely black, impossible to see anything at all. Even the lightning could not illuminate his surroundings.
After blindly staggering through this void for what seemed like an eternity, he managed to spy a small light up ahead of him. It could barely illuminate anything, but he thought he saw a structure near it, possibly the source of the light. As he marched towards it, his boots sloshed against the damp earth and leaves.
All he could think about was the warmth and heat that would be found inside that building. He began to see it better as he got closer. It appeared to be white yet heavily chipped and filthy from years of dirt and rain. The building had two stories, as well as a small patio that barely managed to cover the door. There were 4 windows, two on the top floor and two on the bottom, with one of those on the bottom being the source of the illumination.
At the sight of this he broke into a run. He had to get to the comfort and warmth of the building above all other things. The mud sloshed around his feet, a gale of wind pushed him ever closer towards the door. He felt like he could feel the heat.
He stopped abruptly at the door, finally free from the freezing grip of the rain. He took the moment to look around the front of the house. Puddles saturated the grass that covered the front lawn. Looking up the roof was incredibly dirty, covered in mud and sleet, paint chipping off due to the harsh wind. The door was ugly and appeared to have been hastily thrown together from spare wood. He knocked upon it.
“Just a minute.” Said a feminine voice that came from the upstairs of the house. Footsteps could be heard rushing down the stairs. The sound halted just behind the door and it was pulled open.
There stood a young woman at the door. She was a brunette with jade eyes and a plain face. Her hair was cropped back in a tight bun and she had a polite smile on her face. She seem to be taken back by a young man arriving at her door. Almost day dreaming as she looked into his eyes. As he looked past her he could see why.
There was a mirror hanging from the wall behind her. In it he could see what appeared to be an angel. The angel’s hair was shoulder length and had a jet black color to it. His eyes were a sparkling blue like that of a tropical ocean. It’s body was heavily muscular; cloths clinging to his skin. To his amazement the angel was actually him.
“Sir, what is it ye want?” Asked the girl when she finally realized he wasn’t looking at her. And at that instant the girl was doomed, for the hunger returned inside of him, but it was a thousand times worse. It felt like is chest was constricting in, his heart imploding. Or he could think about besides the pain was this girl’s blood.
He stared at her and began moving forward menacingly. She was transfixed, not moving at all just staring back at him and inhaling heavily. He felt a change come over him but what it was he couldn’t tell. He bent down towards her neck and bit deep into her throat.
She barely struggled as the blood gushed from the open wound and into his mouth. It caressed his throat, the warmth of the blood completely undoing the effects of the cold. His chest lightened.
After about one minute the blood flow stopped and he dropped the girl’s body to the ground. He looked back into the mirror and instead of seeing the angel, he saw a devil. It’s mouth was full of horrible pointy teeth, his eyes had turned a deep yellow like that of an animal’s. He had become a monster.
He looked down at the corpse of the young girl which was completely pale, the red gone from her lips, her neck bathed in blood. Looking back up at the mirror the angel had returned yet tears saturated it’s eyes.
“What have I done?” He cried, tears ran down his face. The guilt was immense like nothing he had ever felt before. To no one in particular he asked again. “What have I done?”
“You have had your first taste of human blood.” Said a voice from behind him. “Doesn’t it feel good?”
He turned around and saw the owner of the voice. It was a man with short, blond, messy hair. His eyes were a deep, dark, blue like the middle of the ocean. His skin was white but not very pale. And he was displaying a beautiful set of sparkling white teeth. He was wearing a dark leather coat, and black pants. His coat covered a white shirt.
“Who are you?” He asked to the blonde man.
“My name is Cipher and I know all about you, Lucius.” Announced Cipher with a smirk on his face.

3 comments:

  1. Wow, I like this!! Uhhh... how to make it better? I dunno. Maybe shorten sentences or something, sometimes simpler sounds more sophisticated... or something like that (that's what Mrs Towers told us). I think I see references to other Vampire stories in here! Anyway, keep writing, I want to know who this Cipher is!

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's got such amazing potetial - write more I wanna find stuff out!

    My blog:
    http://everyday-pointless-ramblings.blogspot.com/

    I picked it apart according to my tastes. I don't know if that's what you wanted but you got it anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Jake, I really enjoyed the first chapter of your story and thought that it was very descriptive. It was enough to get us into the scene, but still kept us wondering. I noticed that in the fourth paragraph, second sentence you'd written 'It that instant...' was it supposed to be In that instant? Just curious.
    As I said before, I really enjoyed it and the new guy, Cipher, was expertly timed.

    ReplyDelete